Mediation is a fresh approach resolving disputes. Instead of both parties hiring lawyers and fighting over the house, the car, the furniture, the bank balance and most importantly the children, you let one impartial family mediator help both of you to an agreement. Then you each get time to check the agreement over - with your own lawyer if you want - and then if you are happy with it you make it legally binding, which can usually be done without you going near the courts at all.

It's far quicker, vastly cheaper, and a whole lot more civilised than slugging it out through an endless series of solicitor's letters and court hearings. Divorce is never a pleasant process and always leaves emotional scars, but with a mediated settlement there is more chance of them being just that, scars, and less chance of them being gaping wounds.

More importantly, your children can get some stability back into their lives in a fraction of the time which it could take through traditional court-based means. Fighting for children through the courts can take years, and even one year is a long time in a child's life. A long time to feel unsure about where you're going to live, what school you're going to attend, and who will be looking after you. There's no need to put them through that.

Because the whole essence of mediation is to produce agreement rather than impose a solution on one party or the other the process cannot start unless you are both willing to give it a try. If your partner is determined to take you to hell and back, even at the risk of having to travel with you, mediation probably won't help. And of course if you are similarly determined, the same applies. But if vou think intelligent educated people ought to be more concerned with building new lives than settling old scores, why not ask for more details? We have a simple questionnaire which will help you decide whether mediation is likely to work for you.

It's yours for the asking, so ask. It could be the start of the rest of your life. And that of your children.